The Horny Toad

It’s hard not love Texas Horned Lizards, a.k.a horny toads.

Growing up in West Texas, I had many horny toads as playmates. Our main interaction involved placing the lizard on his back in the palm of my hand and rubbing his tummy. He promptly fell asleep and wasn’t much fun afterward.

After he selected a busy red ant bed, I crouched down a few feet away and watched him. He just lay there, letting his lunch come to him. The furious ants crawled all over him, trying to drive him away. He serenely kept on dining. The stingers could not pierce his tough skin.

My family loved and respected the little reptiles and never harmed one. We knew they were beneficial. With a predominate diet of red ants, they kept the population of these pests under control. Non-aggressive, they never bothered anyone and never competed with any being’s need for food. As pets, they were low maintenance. Their only requirement was a hot, dry spot near a red ant bed.

• Latin name: Phrynosoma cornutum, meaning “toad bodied”
• Classification: reptile
• Size: 2.5 to 5 inches
• Appearance: Grayish to brownish; short legs, squat, spiny body
• Diet: Insects, mostly ants
• Offspring: 12 to 32 eggs, usually in late summer
• Lifespan: 5 years in the wild
• Habitat: Semiarid, arid and hot as H__l

The little lizard’s defense strategy is to hide. His skin color matches the soil so he blends in as long as he stays still. Next he may puff up to twice his normal size. This prevents snakes from swallowing him. If all else fails, he can shoot a thin stream of blood from his eyes, which is discouraging to predators. Old timers say they can hit a coyote in the left nostril from four feet away.

In spite of affection and appreciation for horny toads (In 1993, the Texas Legislature named him the official reptile of Texas, handily beating out the diamond-back rattler), they are almost extinct in Texas. We did to them what we did to the Native American Indian – destroyed their food source. The last one I saw was in 2000 at an oil lease near Midland.

I’m considering making the long drive to Midland to visit my old friend, the horny toad.